result

my result released today. i got 3 failed. pass only 1 subject. one more subject is stil an unknown. i am so disappointed about this because i tot i wil pass all my subjects because i really did study all da focus area tat lecturers gave me. at least a pass like got a "C" grade for all subjects. during my holidays i was not worried at all. i just put too much hope on it. and it all ended up wid failed :'( especially my law, i tot i can get a "B" for it because i can really do during exam. :'( why is it so unfair sometimes tat others study at last minutes but i study few days edy for each subject only, but ended up i failed but others didn't. why is it so unfair tat rich person pass but poor ppl like me failed? since monday, lecturer said tat result will released within this week, i am not nervous at all. i have so much confident tat i wil pass all my subjects. even tis morning, i am stil happy tat coz can get result tis afternoon at 2pm. during break time, result released. i kept on asking hows my result, but dearie told me she dunnoe. my MR.Dear also kept on hiding my result slip from me. at last i knew it :'( i control myself not to cried in skol. i saw my result slip. i ask my tears not to drop first, coz am in front of all my frens. maybe am a really tough gal in my frens eyes, and i wanna continue to become tat personality in their eyes. i kept on looking my result slip. 3 "F" printed on it. last time i kept on laugh at ppl tat cried for their results, i told them tat even u cried u stil wont pass. now... is my turn. but i couldn't do wad i've said before. i didn't go bek to class after tat. my MR.Dear was accompany-ing me. i really couldn't believe tat i failed my law and F&B. too much confident huh? being too proud huh? once i knew i've failed, first thing went into my mind was money. resit money. graduate. i am being so excited since monday which is da first day of my last semester. ya... is my last semester tats y i am excited. because after tat i wil left only internship, and then finish my Diploma. can imagine how excited am i ? i am much more faster graduate than my MR.Dear, and even some seniors. i've never failed since i entered college. two years i didn't failed for subjects. and i really stil cant accept it till now. i used to fail last time during my secondary skol. those exam means nothing to me. because even failed, doesn't have to pay anything to resit or wad sort ever. u stil can graduate in time. in college, it wasn't same. everything was related to money. if u r asking me money and education, which is more important, i would like to say, yes, is money. for example, after ur form 5 or form 6, u need money to continue ur study such as Foundation or Diploma. after tat, u will also need money to further ur Degree. if u got failed subjects like me right now, u need money to resit. all were money, money and money again. 3 subjects cost me rm600 to resit, rm200 each subjects. how if i fai second times, i need to pay rm400 for each subject, which is a double for the first time u pay for resit. suddenly i felt like wanna give up. i ... really cannot accept this. i went to my MR.Dear house after dearie and ahling went bek to classroom. i finally cried. i tot i'll be better after i cried out. but am not. went bek home. straight away to my bed. i slept, and cried again. i tot i'll be fine after i woke up but am not. again. i dont even feel like wanna wake up. my poor results kept on passed by my mind. when i think of it, i felt like crying again. i called my MR.Dear. crying again. he told me these, and told me that. actually i am really not a good loser. he was right. hope i'll be fine tomorrow.
and am sorry, my MR.Dear. i've made him so unhappy. sowiiee

我是个输不起的弱者
(is all my fault)